Episode 7:【Listening with Qi (air)】

Learning tea ceremony is very interesting. As the saying goes, heroes see things alike, and tea teachers in Hong Kong and Taiwan have all said similar things.

"Brewing tea is like getting to know a new friend," said my big tummy teacher.

In Hong Kong, Teacher Coral's first lesson was to ask us to let go of our previous memories of tea. Each time, we need to get to know the tea in front of us anew, without any preconceptions. We need to feel it and say, "Hello, tea, is there anything you want to say to me?"

Coincidentally, both teachers are fond of the book “Fasting of the Heart”: 

“Make your will one! Don’t listen with your ears, listen with your mind. No, don’t listen with your mind, but listen with your spirit. Listening stops with the ears, the mind stops with recognition, but spirit is empty and waits for all things. The Way gathers in emptiness alone. Emptiness is the fasting of the mind.” (Chapter 3 “In the World of Men,” transl. Watson p. 25)

At that time, I had just started learning Nonviolent Communication (NVC), and listening was an essential part of the learning process. When the teacher mentioned this passage, it really struck a chord with me.

When we listen, we often stop at the level of "listening with our ears," using our bodily organs to listen and our minds to think. We may only hear the literal meaning of what others are saying and see the surface.

But "listening with our mind" goes a little deeper, using our hearts to listen, like the classic saying from The Little Prince: "It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye." Seeing and listening are the same, and to feel the other person's emotions and true thoughts, we must listen with our hearts.

But how do we achieve this? The teacher said that the mind and brain are connected, and when our thoughts arise, our hearts move. We can regulate our breathing to calm our emotions and detach ourselves from the level of the ears.

"Listening with qi(air)" is more abstract, as qi(air) flows through the body, interacting with emotions and the internal organs. Therefore, emotions directly affect our bodies, and qi(air) also refers to breathing.

To truly "listen with qi," I understand that we must truly "reset" ourselves, letting go of all our preconceptions and consciousness in our minds and hearts, and fully sensing the other person's presence when listening, merging ourselves with them.

I once listened to a friend talk about something while trying to maintain a lighthearted tone and smile on the surface, but I sensed that she was crying inside. At that moment, a clown image flashed in my mind, and tears welled up in my eyes for no apparent reason, and my heart inexplicably hurt.

I believe that people and all things are created by God and can connect with each other.